I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
