i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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