just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
