I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
