Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize