sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
