you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
