Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize