yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
