i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize