I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
