I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
