I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
