I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
