You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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