and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
