Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
