Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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