I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
