On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
