I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I looked at my own cervix.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
