Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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