I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
