Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize