Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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