Sober January is a disaster.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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