real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
