mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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