whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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