so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
