Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
