she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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