see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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