Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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