i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
