he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
