Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
