I am puke
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
