For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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