So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
