I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
