He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think i peed on brittanys purse
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
