you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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