but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
