an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize