He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
