sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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