so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
