Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
