And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
