I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
