North Korea, Best Korea!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
