They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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