dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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