Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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