pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
