just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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