It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
