you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
