so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
