can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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