my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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