I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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