Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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