Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
