so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize