Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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