Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
