If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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