porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
