if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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