All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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