the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
two words...techno handjob
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
