I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
