nut hugger
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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